An Equation Settled

I'd like to share a poem I saw awhile back on a message board that I frequent:


The Invention of Fractions

God himself made the whole numbers: everything else is the work of man. —Leopold Kronnecker

God created the whole numbers:
the first born, the seventh seal,
Ten Commandments etched in stone,
the Twelve Tribes of Israel —
Ten we've already lost —
forty days and forty nights,
Saul's ten thousand and David's ten thousand. 'Be of one heart and one mind' —
the whole numbers, the counting numbers.

It took humankind to need less than this;
to invent fractions, percentages, decimals.
Only humankind could need the concepts
of splintering and dividing,
of things lost or broken,
of settling for the part instead of the whole.

Only humankind could find the whole numbers,
infinite as they are, to be wanting;
though given a limitless supply,
we still had no way
to measure what we keep
in our many-chambered hearts.


"The Invention of Fractions" by Jessica Goodfellow, from A Pilgrim's Guide to Chaos in the Heartland. © Concrete Wolf Chapbook Series.



Almost a year ago I bookmarked this poem. I'm not sure of the reason at the time, but I'm glad I did.

A few weeks ago it was my turn to give the devotion at choir practice. At the same time I was feeling some frustration around a choice made by a group of people who are very near to my heart.

I was literally losing sleep over it. I was beginning to feel bitter. For the life of me, I could not figure out why this issue was such a problem for me. Why couldn't I just accept their decision and move on? It certainly wasn't harming me in any real way.


Then I ended up choosing this piece for my devotion. As I read and re-read it, it dawned on me that what was frustrating me was that I felt that the decision made by those people that I love was, in essence, settling for less than they could have. Maybe settling isn't the right word. It seemed more insisting on having less than they could have.

And because I love them, I want better for them.

Once I realized that, I was at peace about it. I could let go, because I was able to name what was bothering me. I also began to think about ways in my own life that I have been or am aiming for less through apathy, fear, or just plain laziness. And it has been easier to be patient with others for doing the same thing.

I am also learning to be grateful for my obligations. If I hadn't been required to present that devotion, I would have missed out on learning something important. I hope that next time I want to complain about something that I have to do, that I can remember to stop and look for the blessing instead.