My "beach read" this past vacation was a book called The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney. A nice, quick read, nothing too heavy, but something that made me sit up and think.
The author says that we all basically are either extroverted (outies) or introverted (innies). Our predominant culture tends to value the extrovert's traits (go-getter, breadth of experience, high energy) over the introvert's ones (slower pace, depth of experience, hanging back a bit before joining in). Also, there are more extroverts than introverts; about a 3:1 ratio.
So if you're an "innie", and especially if you grew up in a family of extroverts, you may think there is something basically wrong with you. You don't fit in. You're slow. You're boring. You're anti-social. And so on.
Well, this book was good news to me. Affirmation that I am not wrong, merely different. I have suspected this for the past few years, but I was more sure after reading the book. I think I want to send Ms. Laney flowers!
I thought about my relationships, particulary the ones closest to my heart: my husband, my daughter, my mom. They are all extroverts to the nth degree. I am finding myself being more patient with them lately, and understanding their impatience with me. I also know why my son and I seem to get along so well. It is not that he's my favorite (as my daughter claims), but that we are pretty much on the same page.
The world needs both kinds of people. All "innies", and we wouldn't get anything done. All "outies", and we would flit from one thing to another without thinking things through. We are all valuable; we are all necessary.
Vive le difference!
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